"Bring _____ to Work Day"

A Random Thought while trying to sleep last night:  You know how all these offices have "Bring your Son or Daughter To Work" day?  I never understood this day. People bring in a bunch of hyperactive little people who don't do any actual work, wear a bunch of oversized free t-shirts and buy the last soda in the cafeteria when you've been looking forward to it all morning and are about to expire from dehydration.   Productivity quotas?  Forget about it.  How are you going to get anything done with a bunch of little ones running around the office, barging into your cubicle or classroom, etc.  And what about the employees that do not have any kids?  Won't this make them feel inferior?  Maybe Timmy has been trying for years to have a kid, but either he or is wife is infertile.  Think that is going to make Timmy feel better?  NOT!!!

My Proposal - Let's scrap this whole "Bring your Kids to Work" Day.  I have some other options that I think would be wiser and increase productivity at the same time.

"Bring a Bottle To Work Day" - Don't know why, but a lot of people do their best work when they are liquored up.  Some of the greatest country songs ever written were the product of drinking while writing.  What about comedians?  Many of them are funnier after they have had a few.  Lawyers - Maybe it would loosen them up and give them a sense of humor.  This would work especially well for government employees -- They don't do crap while they are sober, so maybe they would actually be productive while drunk.  Just a thought.

"Bring Your Dog To Work Day" - Dogs could actually make your day more productive. For a start he/she can shred documents pretty well. Granted, not usually the ones you had in mind, and sure you still had a couple years wear left in those shoes, but hey. A dog can also finish any lunch scraps you didn't eat and chomp enthusiastically on the cajones of your boss when he's being a giant pain in the Butt. What's not to like?

"Bring An Attitude To Work Day" - I have been told I do this often anyway, so why not make it official.  (Actually, I never have an attitude - The ones who tell me that are just jealous because I have found the perfect medium between life and work.)   A whole day where you are not only permitted, but expected to be an ass. "Expense reports you say? Why don't you shove those right up your poop chute and maybe they'll come out the other end making sense."

"Bring a Devious Friend To Work Day" - I can think of no more fun way to spend a day at work than with someone who will be a bad influence.  Find the most annoying friend you have and bring him in.  You could play poker (or Canasta if you're over 60 and still devious), throw darts, take a few shots, use the intercom for practical jokes, alter the company website and burp at callers. I think a full-fledged party
would break out, thus minimizing stress at the workplace.

Obviously, most of these would not work at school since there are kids present - So Teachers, forget you ever read this list.  Concentrate and forget...Forgotten?  Good!

Any other ideas?

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Some Signs You May Be Addicted To Twitter

--you DM your wife 2 rooms away to see what she is doing
--you now only think in sentences of 140 characters or less
--back covered with a #fail tattoo

--now using hashtags in IMs, emails & everyday conversations
--as of this moment I have 3,959 tweets. when you read that your thought is, “Pfft – amateur!”
-- when someone says they saw something on the news, you assume they mean trending topics from twitter--you know the date & time of every twitter outage and what you were doing at the time
--you found this unfunny list via twitter

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!!!   @semi_madman or visit my Twitter page at http://twitter.com/semi_madman

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Carleton University Doesn't Sound Like A Fun School

Carleton University is located in Ottawa, Canada.  I guess they don't like to party at Carleton:

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Top 10 Movie Shootouts

There’s nothing more exhilarating in a movie than a good gun fight. Here are the best of the best that keep our pulses pounding faster than a bullet escaping a chamber.


10. The Untouchables

A Great Gangster Style shootout. It was probably just like the epic shootouts in the 20's between Capone's boys and the cops. 


9. Boondock Saints

In my opinion, one of the greatest movies ever made!! There are actually numerous gunfights in this movie that are epic.  I can't wait to see the sequel. 
8. Road to Perdition

Brilliant music, brilliant cinematography, and a grim performance from Paul Newman as he looks down the barrel of a gun, seeing nothing but the death that his coming his way. A great end to an awesome movie. The film is more of the drama genre than action genre, but they made this shootout action packed.  It is one of the best shootouts ever filmed.
7. Tombstone

In 1993 there were two separate Wyatt Earp westerns, but this is far and away the superior film (And not just because the other had Kevin Costner). Every Western movie has to have a gunfight scene.  What makes the OK Corral battle in this film unique among them is the proximity of the combatants – eyeball to eyeball in an enclosed space with little cover. It’s a confused and vicious sequence, and many historians say it is probably the closest depiction to the real thing. 

6. The Killer

Pick any segment of this Hong Kong classic and you’re likely to see some crazy gunplay. It was here that the iconic, John Woo, double-.45 look was born. It also paved the way for Yun-Fat Chow’s career in Western films, though this is still his best movie ever. 

5. The Matrix

The lobby shootout scene is incredible. Brilliant cinematography and choreography.
4. The Wild Bunch

One of the most iconic shootouts in movie history. As a gang of aging, dirty outlaws taking refuge in Mexico, the film concludes with the Bunch doing something decent in their lives and walking in the stronghold of a corrupt Mexican General to save one of their own. "Give 'em hell Pike!"

3. The Professional

How many SWAT teams do you really need to take out a lonely immigrant and a little girl? Apparently one hell of a lot. A cramped New York apartment may not seem like the ideal place for a massive shoot-out, but it’s disturbingly fun to watch as hitman Leon dispatches wave after wave of armored cops. And it’s especially gratifying to see that mean Gary Oldman get what’s coming to him.

2. Heat

This high-powered gunfight in the streets of Los Angeles seemingly inspired an attempted bank robbery by heavily-armed thugs soon after the film’s release. This gunfight is shockingly real. In fact, it’s probably the most realistic shoot-out ever filmed, a fact made all the more unsettling by its real-world counterpart.

1. Scarface

If you look at Al Pacino’s portrayal of Tony Montana, you know that it can only end this way. Unlike Michael Corleone, Montana exhibits an crazy recklessness that is the cause of both his rise to power and his meteoric fall. The climatic scene in which his rival gang's army storms into his mansion and the ensuing gunfight that follows is hands down the best gunfight scene in history.  I doubt it will ever be matched.

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