"Bring _____ to Work Day"

A Random Thought while trying to sleep last night:  You know how all these offices have "Bring your Son or Daughter To Work" day?  I never understood this day. People bring in a bunch of hyperactive little people who don't do any actual work, wear a bunch of oversized free t-shirts and buy the last soda in the cafeteria when you've been looking forward to it all morning and are about to expire from dehydration.   Productivity quotas?  Forget about it.  How are you going to get anything done with a bunch of little ones running around the office, barging into your cubicle or classroom, etc.  And what about the employees that do not have any kids?  Won't this make them feel inferior?  Maybe Timmy has been trying for years to have a kid, but either he or is wife is infertile.  Think that is going to make Timmy feel better?  NOT!!!

My Proposal - Let's scrap this whole "Bring your Kids to Work" Day.  I have some other options that I think would be wiser and increase productivity at the same time.

"Bring a Bottle To Work Day" - Don't know why, but a lot of people do their best work when they are liquored up.  Some of the greatest country songs ever written were the product of drinking while writing.  What about comedians?  Many of them are funnier after they have had a few.  Lawyers - Maybe it would loosen them up and give them a sense of humor.  This would work especially well for government employees -- They don't do crap while they are sober, so maybe they would actually be productive while drunk.  Just a thought.

"Bring Your Dog To Work Day" - Dogs could actually make your day more productive. For a start he/she can shred documents pretty well. Granted, not usually the ones you had in mind, and sure you still had a couple years wear left in those shoes, but hey. A dog can also finish any lunch scraps you didn't eat and chomp enthusiastically on the cajones of your boss when he's being a giant pain in the Butt. What's not to like?

"Bring An Attitude To Work Day" - I have been told I do this often anyway, so why not make it official.  (Actually, I never have an attitude - The ones who tell me that are just jealous because I have found the perfect medium between life and work.)   A whole day where you are not only permitted, but expected to be an ass. "Expense reports you say? Why don't you shove those right up your poop chute and maybe they'll come out the other end making sense."

"Bring a Devious Friend To Work Day" - I can think of no more fun way to spend a day at work than with someone who will be a bad influence.  Find the most annoying friend you have and bring him in.  You could play poker (or Canasta if you're over 60 and still devious), throw darts, take a few shots, use the intercom for practical jokes, alter the company website and burp at callers. I think a full-fledged party
would break out, thus minimizing stress at the workplace.

Obviously, most of these would not work at school since there are kids present - So Teachers, forget you ever read this list.  Concentrate and forget...Forgotten?  Good!

Any other ideas?

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Everyone is wrong!!! 98.6 is not normal body temperature.

The average body temperature for humans is 98.2 degrees Fahrenheit

The commonly quoted number 98.6 was based on survey of of 25,000 people done by German physician Carl August Wunderlich in 1861. More modern studies, which have lowered the overall average to 98.2, emphasize the difference time of day makes for body temperature, with most people gaining about a degree between the early morning and late afternoon.

Some studies have also found that women have slightly higher average body temperatures than men.

Of course, you should attempt to employ this fact the next time you get caught stealing all the blankets.

I got this little tidbit of info through "The Happy Hour Hero" widget brings amazing facts and figures to your desktop, MySpace page, Facebook profile   Check it out.

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